Where have you gone Earl Ferrell?

When I was 21 years old (back in the 80s, people), my father coached a player by the name of Earl Ferrell. We took to him instantly and all fell in love with his style of play, youth, and wonderful personality. He had the most infectious smile and a laugh that made anyone giggle, just by hearing it. He was only a few years older than me, but our lives had been vastly different. I grew up in a the whitebread midwest, with relatively little excitement. He grew up in Tennessee, and helped raise his family after his father was shot. I was a college student, studying to be a teacher, and he was a very talented player and was making quite a name for himself as a running back in the NFL. Yet, I felt close to him, and looked at him as part of my family.

During the fall of 1985, he fell into some troubled ways. I remember my dad telling me that he had a cocaine problem and was going to miss a game against the NY Giants. I wrote Earl a letter, giving my support and love, hoping that somehow, this would make a difference to him. I honestly have no idea if it did, but I know I needed to plead with him to please be okay. I couldn't stand the thought of anything wiping that smile from his face. After this initial incident, my parents invited him to come live with us. At the time, this was really unprecedented. For a few months, he lived upstairs in our house, next to my bedroom. I think he liked feeling a part of our family. I know I loved him living there. I remember taking him shopping as Christmas neared, and it was like taking a small child to the mall for the first time. He loved the lights, the music and all that surrounded Christmas shopping. It really had a lasting effect on me, even now 23 years later. I was looking forward to Christmas with Earl and watching him open the gifts we had purchased for him. (I think I bought him a shirt, I honestly don't remember that!!)

Earl didn't come to our house for Christmas. The Cardinals lost to the Washington Redskins on 12/23 that year, and that knocked them out of the playoffs. This was a hard loss for everyone on the team. Earl ended up basically dropping off the planet and I haven't seen him since. He spent some time in rehab, and eventually was banned from the NFL in 1990. I tried to visit him in rehab, but facilities would never confirm or deny if a patient was there. My dad ended up getting fired from the Cardinals in 1985 and I moved to Virginia in 1987 and was no longer closely associated with my dad's teams or players.

I have looked for information on him for the last twenty years. He was, and always will be, very special to me. I've seen his name on Facebook, but figure that's someone pretending to be him, or using his name. He always seems to crop up in my mind at Christmas time, I guess it's the childlike innocence I saw. I'm sure, like myself, that innocence is long gone. I will always remember it, and him. I just hope that, wherever he is, that he is feeling love on this Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas Earl Ferrell, wherever you may be.