Adventures In Strange Body Parts

You know all those old wives tales about ringing ears, itchy palms, and what not, right?   These are the ones where some strange body malady leads to a reward of some kind?  Well, I have a new one to add to the book.

Today, as I was driving home from work, my left foot began itching.  It was itching on my arch.  it was itching like CRAZY on said arch.  I tried to ignore it.  I turned up the music.  We all know this method helps any type of itch.

Turning up the music turned up the intensity of the itchiness.  So, I slipped off my shoe and rubbed the bottom of my foot onto the top of my shoe. 

That's when I realized that this is one physics equation I understand:

Itch + Inability to Scratch = Total Discomfort.  (or, I + I = TD).  Or, the intensity of the itch is directly proportional to the amount of scratching you're able to complete.

I continue trying to drive and trying to scratch the itch.  I manage to remove my sock; no small feat (groan) for a driver.  I leaned over to try to get that itch, and my speed increased.  [ I could totally see me trying to explain this one to the nice officer.]

I scrape that foot on the nasty floor mat, hoping for a shard of glass, a stray nail, a razor, or a small little elf who might just end my agony.  NO luck.  The  more I scratched, the more it itched.  The music was loud, I was speeding, and one foot was sock-less.

I stayed that way until I made it into the driveway.  And, as soon as I was able to scratch away that itch, guess what?
It was gone.  Go figure.

Now, I'm just hoping that an itchy foot while driving means something really cool.  You know, like a new closet of shoes awaits me? Or, these feet will walk on magical lands.

But, realistically, it probably means I need to lather my tootsies with some lotion.