Q&A- TV and God Edition

Dear Mark,
Why do you think I enjoy Facebook so much on a Friday night?
The Ju

Dear Ju,
Because you are lazy as hell.

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Dear Ree,
Why do I enjoy your blog so much more than your show?
Confused in Carolina

Dear CIC,
My personality and humor don't translate well on TV. 
And there's not enough of Marlboro Man's chaps.

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Dear God,
Why must women go through Menopause and all sorts of hormonal distress?
Roller Coaster Mama

Dear Mama,
Pretty funny on my part, eh?

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Dear Guy Fieri,
Just how do you get your hair to look like that?  And why the pinky ring?
Grossed out in Goose Creek

Hey Creek!
Back off the hair.  I am a super stud who can cook better than anyone on the planet. 
And don't you worry about my ring. 

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Dear Meredith Grey,
Does the Chief live?
On the edge of my recliner with wonder

Dear OTEOMRWW,
I will find out for you after I look for my new baby who I thought had died, but didn't really even though they made all the viewers think he would die. 

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Dear God,
What's with making our boobs sag as we get older?
NOT Boobalicious anymore

My dearest NOT,
It makes for great cartoons.

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Dear Giada,
Why is your head so darn big?
J to the M

Oh J,
Why you gotta be so jealous?  Haters gonna hate.

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Dear Bobby,
Where did you learn all that crap you know?  You always come up with some weird fact when solving those murders.
Awed in the Creek

Dear Awed,
I am a genius.  Even though I was mentored by that really weird dude and fell for Nicole Wallace, I'm still a genius.  Even though I'm too dumb to figure out that I'm in love with Eams.
BG

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Dear Jesse Pinkman,
I am your number one fan.  But, honestly, you've got to start figuring out that Mr. White does NOT have your back.
Your #1 Bitch

Hey Bitch,
I'll keep an eye on that Bitch.  Thanks for the warning, but I'm too loyal of a bitch to realize anything is amiss.

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Dear God,
Will my brother's team ever make it to the College World Series?
Praying for a miracle

Oh my dear little Prayer,
Have faith.  Sometimes the good guy does finish first.

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Dear  God,
One more question - just how did you figure out to make wine so tasty?
Pinot Noir Fan

Hey Fan,
I consider that one of my better accomplishments; right up there with cream cheese and Robert Redford.

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Dear Ted Allen,
Which Chopped judge is the biggest pain in the rear?
Nosey Ju

Dear Nose:
Without a doubt, Geoffrey Zakarian.