A – My a$$ is too big.
B – Yep. The boobalies would bounce me right out of mile number one.
C –Chafing anyone?
D -Desire, of which I have none. Also, discipline.
E –Effort. It takes WAY too much effort.
F- Flatulence when I run. Yep.
G-I look really goofy when I run. Or, at least I did the last time I did run; which was about sixth grade.
H-It would mess up my hair.
J-Jjuju doesn’t run. Juju can't run.
K-Seriously, it would kill me.
L-I would be the laughing stock while getting continuously lapped by little old ladies.
M-That is way too many miles.
N-That much running would interfere with my naps.
O-O U C H
P-Um, the pain?
Q-Quitters never win. Just call me Loser. Or, you can call me, “Never Starter.”
R-Running is not a word in my vocabulary.
S-That stitch you get in your side. Ouch. Oh, and the sweat. And, short shorts don’t look good on me.
T-I am terrified of losing my bowels in public.
U-It would be very very ugly. All of it. Me, the running, my hair, the outfit.
V-I’m very content being a fan, not a participant.
W-You can’t drink wine when running a marathon.
X-The words I would be yelling would be xrated. Small children and sensitive women would be insulted.
Y-I’m a yellow bellied sapsucker fraidy cat.
Z-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz If I’m doing something for 26.2 miles or approximately four hours, you better believe I’ll be sleeping.
But kudos to all who do, especially our good buddy Matt.