Thursday, September 29, 2011

Gatorade Quenches

In your city, do you have homeless/unemployed/down on their luck folks who sit at the end of an exit ramp near a stoplight? 

Usually, they will be sitting with a sign that reads, “Will work for food” or “Homeless Vet” or something else that tugs at the heartstrings. 

It always seems to be 100 degrees when I see these folks.  Or it’s raining. 

Normally, I pretend I’m fiddling with the radio station.  Or, I begin a conversation with the passenger in my car.  Anjeanette says she always seems to acquire an itch on her foot that needs immediate attention.  Why do I choose to look the other way?  Is it that the cynical side of me thinks they’re addicts with issues, or someone who doesn’t want to work?

Or is it the fact that it’s difficult for me to look at someone with an obvious need and ignore him? And, by refusing to look at him, I don’t have to look inside the ugly part of myself–the part that would look beyond someone who needs help?

The other day, as I pulled off the interstate, I saw the man.  I also saw the driver of the car in front of me give this man a Gatorade.  It was a simple gesture, but it’s stuck with me for days now.  That Gatorade didn’t cost much, and it probably meant much more to this man than the $1.29 the driver spent. 

This has given me an idea---I’m hoping that I will start carrying water in my car to give to people in this position.  It's easy and cheap to do, right?

I can then, at the very least, look the person in the eye, rather than look away.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday Idiocy

I got stuck in my dress today.
Normally, I like to provide photos to enhance my post, but I'm so glad there isn't one.

I ordered a couple really cute dresses from a recommended site.  I ordered Extra Beautiful, just like I always do.  I was very excited to see the package on my step when I got home today, so immediately went to try them on.  Since, I also needed to use the toilet, I took them in there with me.  I popped open the packaging and pulled the lovely little frock over my head.   As soon as I put my arms through the sleeves, I realized that no way was this dress going to fit any part of this gal's body.  And, as I tried to remove it, I realized it wasn't coming off any time soon.  That dress was plum STUCK.  I couldn't move my arms.  I couldn't raise them.  I couldn't use them to pull at the material.  And, of course, I didn't want to RIP the dress, as I fully intended on sending it back to the munchkins who could wear this.

I couldn't invite Steven in to help, as the bathroom had been used just prior to the clothes try-on.  That would have gone above and beyond the call of husbandly duty.  And, I just didn't want to walk out of there looking like a nut in a straight jacket begging for help.  Help!  I'm stuck in my dress!!!  Help!

I had a bit of a panic.  I was trying to figure out the rest of my life in this very cute, but very small, dress.   Then I cursed myself for even shopping on line, fully knowing I'll never change my stripes.  I HATE trying on clothes.  This might be just the reason why, eh?

So, I took a deep breath  (carefully, so as not to tear the dress!) and pulled the skirt part over my head.  I tugged gently, yet firmly and it finally came off my very embarrassed body.  I checked the size, and it was, indeed, what I ordered.  The country of origin must have women of completely different sizes, because I don't think I would have ever fit into that dress.

I'm thinking the Nudists might be on to something.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

They Did

I've worked with or for my boss for over twenty years now.  When we first met, we were both still in our 20's.  He had hair, and I had only one husband.  We are four months apart in age, and have kids the same age.  Granted, he has two more children than I do, but basically, we're kind of in the same phase of our lives.

I've watched his kids grow up, and he has watched mine.  Our kids have gone through similar phases, both good and bad.  This past weekend, his third child, who happens to be the same age as Jake, got married.

They had a beautiful wedding at an old Charleston church.  This is the same church where his sister was married some years before.  We feel very honored to be included in these family events.  It is such a joy to see these children all grown up and so very very happy.

The reception was held at an old historic house in the downtown area.  (Oh, this is where the similarities between Bill and myself end---he definitely lives a higher "caliber" life than I do!!)  I did have to wonder what the old man in the portrait thought about all these people traipsing through his house, and standing in line at the pasta bar.

Best part of the evening, besides seeing the ear to ear grin on the groom, was the Photobooth.  Guests were asked to have themselves photographed and then place the picture in the guest book.  What a great idea!  Of course, as the night wore on, the pictures became more flamboyant; especially since props were provided.  (just wait for this week's version of Mid Week Mute...)  At most weddings, we would find ourselves parked next to the dance floor to enjoy all the people watching.  But, at this event?  We were firmly planted near the photobooth to watch all the decision making as to which accessory to use!

Oh, and, here's my boss and his wife:

Yes, those are props they're wearing.  They don't look like this on a normal day.  :-)

Even the bride and groom made the most of it!

I always enjoy a wedding, hands down.  But there was something very special about this one.  This young man just sparkled with joy and he repeated that sentiment over and over.  Congratulations to Parker and Alison!  I hope you will be as happy as me and my husband.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Monday, September 19, 2011

Symphony of the Crown

Imagine yourself at the Opera House.  The orchestra is warming up in the pit.  Trills from the flute can be heard.  Every once in awhile, a drum is beat, and the pianist makes runs on the piano.  People are finding their seats, and the house lights dim.  And thus begins, "The Symphony of the Crown."  (You're going to have to really stretch it here, but imagine music, opera singers and a bunch of drama---)

Tooth falls apart. Ouch ouch!  Tooth falls apart on the couch on the couch!
Tongue touches tooth, tongue touches tooth.  Sore on tongue.  Sore on tongue. 
Don't eat don't eat don't eat on that side!

Denial Denial!  It will be okay!
More bits fall off, oh no!  Alas!
Feeling like a hick and feeling like an a$$.

!Go to Dentist! Go to Dentist! 
Nervous Stomach Nervous Stomach.

M'lady, your tooth is cracked.
M'lady, your filling is cracked.
M'lady, crack is whack!


I see SMOKE!  I see POWDER!  My tongue will not behave.
Slobber Slobber Slobber Slobber.
Will it hurt?  Will it hurt?  Scraping.  Sucking.  Picking.  Drilling.
How long can I stay this way with my mouth WIDE OPENNNNN?

I can't take much more, I feel myself slipping away.  What will I eat for dinner?
DONE!  The Fat Lady can sing and eat again!

That will be $550 please.

The End.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Nip in the Air

I am sitting here with my windows open people.  FRESH air is blowing through my house.  (Of course, that also means I'm smelling the litter trays on the back porch, but still!)  The A/C has been turned off for the first time since, oh, February?  And, the high temp did not get into the 80's today. 

There is much rejoicing inside this perpetually hot body.

I have a pot of chili on the stove.  The back door is open.  I don't think I've yet to break a sweat today.  Football is going to be on the TV shortly. (American Football that is.  The REAL football was already on this morning.)  Last night, when we were sitting outside, I actually felt chilly.

In some other random bits of news--

I am loving my new do.  It literally takes me two minutes to do my hair in the morning.  That also reduces the amount of time that I would have normally spent sweating.

I had a dream last night that I was married to Bobby Goran from Law and Order:  Criminal Intent.  I love my hubby, but I have to admit, it was kinda interesting to be married to Bobby in my subconscious.  (Dear, I love you best!)

I watched, "Grey Gardens" with Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange this afternoon.  If you haven't seen it, please take the time.  It was very good.  Now I have to see the real documentary. 

Is there a comfortable pillow in the real world?

I am pleased to report that I am not scheduled to travel anywhere until New Years Eve Weekend.  I am pretty sure that will change before all is said and done, but I'm pretty darn happy to be sticking around Goose Creek for awhile. 

Speaking of Goose Creek, we now have a drive through "sell your gold for cash" store.  KLASSY.

Steak, baked potato and salad for dinner.  Life is good.

I hope wherever you are that you are enjoying this weather.  I plan to gaze lovingly out my open windows for the remainder of the weekend.   And, I hope for Grandma K that Texas finally gets some rain.  Let's do a rain dance for her!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Unsung Cat

We have some crazy animals in our house.  (including Steven!)  Everyone loves Charlie, because he's big, fat, hairy and white.  Domino gets attention because of his swagger and personality.   Rockett is the princess, so everyone has to love her!  (besides, she is SO cute!!)

And then there's Mikki.

Mikki is definitely the unsung animal of our house.  She's the one who is easy to forget.  She's the little one.  She's always last on the list, even though she is now the elder statesman (woman?) in the house. 

Steven bought Mikki for my birthday, eleven years ago,  and presented her to me with a little kerchief around her neck.  She was so teeny tiny and precious.  She fit in my hand perfectly.  But, she wouldn't stay there.  From the day she entered our house, up through today, she has had eyes for Steven only. 

I guess she must have been taken away from her mama too young, because she loves to suckle on his neck.  Yeah, it's kinda gross, but it's also kinda sweet.  She does this routine daily.  Steven says if I had a beard she'd do it to me, but I doubt it.

She likes warmth and will search it out at all times.  She finds the spot of sunshine.  She sits on top of the water heater.  She loves clean warm clothes.  She loves them so much that one time she jumped into the dryer to nap.  Someone didn't see her in there and turned on the dryer.  That same someone noticed a bump-bump-bump sound, opened the door and pulled out a very frightened cat and some soiled sheets.  I'm happy to say that someone wasn't me.01

She and Rockett feud like the two little females that they are.  If Rockett bugs one of the cats, Mikki is right there to yell at her.  Keep in mind, she's the smallest, but she has no fear of the dog.  She's the boy's protector.  She cleans them like a good mama would.

When Steven walks Rockett, she comes to snuggle with me.  (no neck sucking)  She takes forever to get comfortable, but when she finally does, we get a few good snuggles in before Rockett returns and the fights renew. 

She has the sharpest whiskers ever.  She has herpes in her eyes (yes!).  She bites her toenails at the most inappropriate times.  (is there an appropriate time?)  She makes strange noises as she walks up and down the hall.  She has ugly feet.  She just looks mean.  She can't take a "cute" photo to save her life.

But, when I think about it, she's the one holding us all together.  She keeps us in line, loves on us, and makes sure we are all behaving and being nice to each other.   I think we did the right thing when we named her after my grandmother.

Thanks Mikk! 

(and thanks to Steven for the pix)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Minor Miracle?

Today, I experienced a momentous experience.  I think I'm not exaggerating when I say it is a 'once in a lifetime' experience.

I did NOT have to wait at the doctor's office.

You read that right.  I did NOT have to wait. 

I showed up early for my appointment, checked in, and was taken back immediately.  I gave my urine sample (with no spills, I might add!), and was tended to right away. 

I was placed in the actual examination room, changed into the always too tight top, and IN came the doctor.  No waiting.  No thumb twiddling.  No muss, no fuss.  My parts are all still there, and I'm good for another year.

I think even Mother Teresa would have agreed that this could be considered a minor miracle.

***And, to celebrate the day, I cut off all my hair.  And when I say all my hair, I mean A LOT. Think Emma Watson after Harry Potter.  Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby.  Maybe even a young pubescent boy.

What a day!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Pet Peeve #487

I've done the Pet Peeve Post in the past.  (love all those P's!!)  But, I was reminded of another one today.  I call it the "Back Up."

WHY must people back up into parking spaces?  What are they trying to prevent or avoid?  Are they trying to save time?  Do they like using the gear shifter so much that they take this extra step?

I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "Ju, why does this bother you so?"

Well, let me tell you my friends.  I have a few reasons.   The first reason is that, invariably, I have to wait while the person pulls the car forward, then puts the car in R, then pulls in (never in far enough) then drives back, then forth, then back.  During this process, I am waiting to pull my car into the spot, that, if they had pulled forward instead of back, none of this would be happening.  (ya follow?)

Second reason:  I hinted in reason number one--people don't know and can't see the back of their vehicle.  So, the nose of their car is usually sticking out of their spot.  Therefore,when I go to BACK UP to exit my spot, I have to do a few extra twists to avoid the front of their car. You know, I am inconvenienced.  :-)

And my third reason?  I'm horrible in reverse.  So, I probably resent those who are good at it?

I will grant the one exception clause---if you're at a busy concert or show, and getting out of the lot will be trying, then I understand it.  But, that is the ONLY time it doesn't get my goat.  (I still think they don't NEED the BACK UP, but I at least GET it here) 

I'm all for the "PULL THROUGH."  I admire the PARALLEL. But, oh, the BACK UP drives me bonkers!  

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Labor Day Adventures

We spent Labor Day weekend in St. Louis.  Folks, St. Louis is such a great town.  I know I'm from there, and all, but it's such a great town. 

We left Goose Creek on Thursday at O-Dark-Thirty.  Taylor slept all of the twelve hour drive, with the exception of the Clarksville layover at Steak-n-Shake.  (Frisco Melt and Fries)  We rolled into Missouri just in time for Happy Hour on St. Christopher Drive. 

Our reason for this journey was to celebrate my grandmother's 95th birthday.  Now, she turned 95 in July, but we're a little slow on making things happen.  So, we decided to get together on this long holiday weekend.  Both my brothers were there, along with their children.  Also in attendance were our good friends, Mike and Rose, and their wonderful daughters.  And finally, special guest for the weekend?  JAKE!  Yep, Jake took time off from law school and all that thinking, flew up from Austin, Texas, and joined us for the Labor Day Adventure.

Here's some highlights from the trip:

  • Cheeseology - This is a restaurant that serves ONLY macaroni and cheese.  There are all sorts of flavors of M&C, but that is all they serve.  Taylor and I split BaconBacon and Buffalo Chicken.  They are served in little skillets and are to die for!
  • More food anyone?  How about BBQ from Paddy's? 
  • And still more food?  We had Fried Spinach as an appetizer Saturday evening.  Wow, I never thought that would be as good as it was.  If you see it on a menu, try it!
  • Seeing Jake come through the security gate at the airport, and that initial bear squeeze hug.
  • Seeing Jake and Taylor have the same hug.
  • The smile on my grandma's face as she saw Jake for the first time in ten years.  Priceless.
I had to get rid of those bullets.  They weren't working for me.  

More highlights:  (without bullets this time)

 Laughing with Mike and Rose all weekend....Listening to lots of short stories on our  drive...Jack in the Box Tacos on the last night...The boys smoking cigars...Looking at Grandma's photo albums...Rose's cupcakes with the yummy filling...Hearing Jake call me, "Mom"...Taylor's giggles

Hm.  The ellipses isn't working either.

I guess I have to return to paragraph form.  It was a great weekend. That doesn't do it either.

Maybe I can get the point across better with some photos?

The first five of this series are the "take a photo of yourself and the person next to you" game we play in big crowds.  I think the pictures are always fun!

And these two, I will treasure forever.  It means everything to me to have these next two pictures.
Everything I need is right here in these pix.*

*if you add my animals and cheese, I'm good.

Monday, September 5, 2011


I've been in St. Louis this long Labor Day weekend.  I have much to share in the coming days, but for now, feast on this:

Plenty of stories to share.  We head home tomorrow.  I can't wait to fill you in!