Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday Idiocy

I got stuck in my dress today.
Normally, I like to provide photos to enhance my post, but I'm so glad there isn't one.

I ordered a couple really cute dresses from a recommended site.  I ordered Extra Beautiful, just like I always do.  I was very excited to see the package on my step when I got home today, so immediately went to try them on.  Since, I also needed to use the toilet, I took them in there with me.  I popped open the packaging and pulled the lovely little frock over my head.   As soon as I put my arms through the sleeves, I realized that no way was this dress going to fit any part of this gal's body.  And, as I tried to remove it, I realized it wasn't coming off any time soon.  That dress was plum STUCK.  I couldn't move my arms.  I couldn't raise them.  I couldn't use them to pull at the material.  And, of course, I didn't want to RIP the dress, as I fully intended on sending it back to the munchkins who could wear this.

I couldn't invite Steven in to help, as the bathroom had been used just prior to the clothes try-on.  That would have gone above and beyond the call of husbandly duty.  And, I just didn't want to walk out of there looking like a nut in a straight jacket begging for help.  Help!  I'm stuck in my dress!!!  Help!

I had a bit of a panic.  I was trying to figure out the rest of my life in this very cute, but very small, dress.   Then I cursed myself for even shopping on line, fully knowing I'll never change my stripes.  I HATE trying on clothes.  This might be just the reason why, eh?

So, I took a deep breath  (carefully, so as not to tear the dress!) and pulled the skirt part over my head.  I tugged gently, yet firmly and it finally came off my very embarrassed body.  I checked the size, and it was, indeed, what I ordered.  The country of origin must have women of completely different sizes, because I don't think I would have ever fit into that dress.

I'm thinking the Nudists might be on to something.


mel said...

Clothes are a necessity but buying them is just the worst.

I would like to have seen you in this predicament. I think it probably would have been a 'best laugh all month' moment. Help me, arms slowly waving, help meeeee! chuckles.....

word: pualises

Todd has been scratching a lot ever since he got that pualises. Yuck.

angie128 said...

I'm laughing.
Not laughing AT you.
I'm laughing WITH you.
Oh, wait. You're not laughing?
Well, arighty then...

Grandma K said...

I am so glad someone else has problems like that!!

sherri s. said...

Sadly (or hilariously?) this happens to me in dressing rooms quite frequently...there is a moment of utter panic ("I must rip this off, no matter what, right now, or run screaming out of the dressing room") and then calm descends..."Must wiggle, centimeter by centimeter, until it unsticks itself." I guess I still think it's 15 pounds ago...

word: apatemi

NO, I didn't order an apatemi or an appletini--I ordered a BEER! Right now, please and thank you.

miscellane-ash said...

i, too, have been stuck in a dress! full on panic attack...cried for help (literally.) i have also busted 2 zippers on 2 sep. occassions getting ready for work. i think i have that reverse anorexia some times!!