Tuesday, July 17, 2012
It is July SevenPEEnth, because PEE has been the theme of my day.
Sir and I are getting new life insurance policies, and you know they require blood and urine for underwriting purposes. Well, I have never been good with giving up my urine. It is always a challenge for me.
When I had to give my very first urine sample, I was about eighteen years old. I went to the doctor and the nurse asked me for a sample. Then she handed me THE CUP. I acted like I knew what I was doing, but when I was in the teeny tiny bathroom, all by myself, I really had no clue what was expected of me. Did they think I could pee in that tiny thing? Honestly. So, I did what I thought they wanted - I peed in the toilet and scooped out the contents with that cup they handed me.
It was only later that I discovered this wasn’t the proper procedure. (Amazing they never said I had too much bleach in my urine....)
Well, ever since then, giving a urine sample has been intimidating for me. I don’t care what position I take, what I wear, or how big the cup is, I always manage to pee on myself, the toilet, my drawers, the floor, my shoes and my leg. Every. Single. Time. Today was no exception. I was Old Faithful at Yellowstone Park; or rather, Old Faithful at YellowPee Toilet. It's just not something I've ever been able to master.
I also have a bit of a respiratory thing going on, which means I have some pretty intense coughing fits. And, being the “maturing” woman that I am, that means that every time I cough, I lose a little bit from my bladder.
And, thus, July SevenPEEnth. Pass the Depends!