Friday, March 15, 2013

The Bratty Post

WARNING: This is written by an almost fifty year old woman who is feeling like a spoiled pouty brat. 

I want to go to my Grandma J’s house, sit on her horrible plaid carpet and watch MTV, circa 1981.  After that, I want to eat dinner with everyone at her super cool table with the Lazy Susan in the middle.  I want to look at her cups and saucers in her corner cabinets and then I want to sleep in the bedroom with the twin beds and the angel wallpaper.

I don’t want to see any more of Kim Kardashian’s expanding baby bump.

I want the world to be fair.

I want to go to my Grandma C’s house at Thanksgiving and have my entire family there, even my dad, because that one year he was able to make it and didn’t have a football game.  I want to sleep on the couch that everyone fights to sleep on.  I want to use Grandpa’s adding machine after my Yahtzee game.  I want to see Grandma pass the breakfast food through her kitchen window on to the porch.  I want to open her pantry door and look at the perfectly folded (and ironed) sheets, towels and bathroom necessities.

I don’t want to worry about retirement funding, funeral planning, or my health.

I want my ice maker to work again.

I want the animal hair to disappear, and not show so massively in the morning sunshine.

I want to go to my grandparent’s hotel room and see their travel bar set up with bourbon, vodka and mixers.  I want to look over and see grandma’s makeup suitcase perfectly packed.  I want to see her regular suitcase packed with tissue paper separating her clothes.  I want to see my grandpa in his suspenders and walking with his cane.

I want all my relationships to be on the level I want them to be on.  I want two way streets in those relationships.  I want to know I matter to those I matter to.

I want to eat a big bowl of chips and salsa without feeling guilty.

I want my kids to be little again.  Just for a few minutes.

I want the Pope to be as nice as he sounds right now, and for us not to find out all sorts of dirt on him in the years to come.  I also want him to change his views on a few things. 

I want people to remember NOT to leave gross disgusting things in their desk that their boss might find when they’ve been terminated.  (Still recovering from that one!)

I want to find a pillow that I like for more than two days. 

I want this crabby mood to go away and be replaced with a giddy, giggling Saturday.  Here’s hoping!


mel said...

Oh, I am so with you.

sherri s. said...

I'm with you too! I'm sick of having to remember 52 slightly different passwords all the time. I want to eat pie at my grandma's house. I want to stop worrying about my mom. I want to have a milkshake every single day of my life. I'd like to run through sprinklers and then watch Gilligan's Island.

And please tell me that's a picture of you?

Grandma K said...

Girl - you must be living in my brain - or the opposite. I agree with your statements - with the exception of the fact that my dad could be with us on Thanksgiving!

Colleen said...

Wow! I want my daughter to move out of our very small home and move forward in her life. I want my husbands business to finally take off. I want to be at my Nana's apartment on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn with my family smelling that wonderful pot roast she used to make!

Sounds like we all just need to feel safe for a while!