Monday, May 23, 2011


OMG.  Guess where I went tonight?  Oh, you'll never guess.  I went to the mall!   OMG.

I say OMG, because I loathe the mall. 

I will avoid the mall at all costs.  Literally and figuratively.

I will order on line, go to Target, go without, or send Taylor at Christmas time if really necessary.

Mall, dear Mall, how do I loathe you?  Let me count the ways.

Claire's.  Frederick's of Hollywood.  The obligatory bad restaurant at the front of the mall. The Food Court.  The store:  5-7-9.  (I honestly don't know if they have that anymore, but still.  I could never shop there!)  Hollister.  Kiosks.  Men in their early 20's playing with remote control cars or helicopters.  The massage guy.  (there's one in every mall)  Bath and Body and the pressure to buy three so you can get two free.

Shopper's Back.  That LONG hallway that leads to the mall restrooms. The bed stores.  "Things Remembered."  Sears.  The smokers hanging out at the front of the mall.  That big nasty trash can/ash can thing that you have to pass to go inside.  How about that one creepy end of the mall that just seems darker and scarier than the others?

Packs of teenagers.  (I believe the malls belong to them, and I'm okay with that.  Let the kids have this place!!)  The crying baby.  Workers hanging outside the stores waiting for shoppers.  Oh Bath and Body Bubble Bath!  Take me away!!

To top off this experience, I didn't find what I needed.  Go figure. It's back to Amazon.Com for this gal! 


angie128 said...

Part Two:
Thank you.
You totally get it.
I don't know how.
But you do.
Must be Ju Ju ju-ju.
Thank you.
I love you.

sherri s. said...

Were we separated at birth? 'Cuz I HATE the mall too (I used to work in them, so I have a special level of hatred!). The food court smell, of skeevy old hot dogs and burnt waffle cones. The dirty fountains. Hot Topic. Freaky headless mannequins wearing hootchie clothes. Old Navy (there, I've said it!). I make ONE trip pre-Christmas to go to Nordstrom and eat samples at Williams Sonoma. This year, Santa was there on November 15 (I kid you not--boo, Santa, boo).

word: sphras

I like to go to sphras--sphecially to get a massage.

Darla said...

I am so with you on hating the mall!! I am not a shopper, and having to go there is just a thorn in my side.

The non-shopping aside, I hate all of the same things you do, but there is usually a pack of mom's with strollers walking side-by-side...hello?! Did I mention that strollers are ankle weapons?