Monday, July 12, 2010

Why I Loathe Going to the Doctor

Well, I had plenty of time to think about this today as I sat in the little room. 

They tricked me.  I signed in and sat down and they called me back right away. 

I was weighed and measured.  (good God, I'm shrinking!)  And, they went to put me in that little room.  You know, the one where you sit FOREVER and try to listen outside the door and figure out when the doctor is going to see you?

But, prior to that little prison sentence, I had to give a urine sample.  Peeing in a cup is the bane of my existence.  When I was 18, I was told to pee in a cup.  Being the naive young lady that I was, I wondered just how this was done.  So, I did the logical thing...I peed in the toilet and then dipped it out. 

Yeah, I know now that's not how it's done.

But, today, I made the effort and it went EVERYWHERE.  What is with that?  Guys have it so easy.  Sometimes I can do it.  But, today, it went all over the toilet, the floor, my skirt, and all over me.  I'm in my doctor's bathroom cleaning up his floor.  I am not C-O-O-L.

Then I go to wait for the doctor.  And I wait.  And I wait.  And I wait.  I go to read the magazines, and all that's there is, "Car and Driver" and something about guns; not my interests.  I look around and read the walls.  I now see all the diseases and conditions I will acquire as I age. 

I'm not having fun.

And still I wait.  I begin to use my phone, even though the sign outside said not to use phones. After so long, I figure I've earned the right.

And, finally, finally he walks through the door.  He makes a nice joke, and the exam is done and over in 10 minutes.  TEN MINUTES.  All the waiting.  All the stress.  All the urine.  So, you see, it's not the actual seeing the doctor that I loathe, but the whole process that surrounds it.

But, at least all was good.  I'm gonna live to see another doctor.  And, I'm gonna live to wait some more.


SPT said...

The waiting SUCKS. I hear you. And the pee in the cup. I think you're either born with the talent or not. I am not either. And the directions they give make me want to gag.

You're done sistah. Woooohooo!

Darla said...

Judi, I just got to experience that lovely time with my doctor just last week. BUT, my time there was more like 2 HOURS!! Jeff called just to make sure I was okay. :) This was the ever- looked-forward-to yearly exam, but I get the full blown deal: weight (gasp), the usual comfort position with the stirrups, PLUS EKG, chest x-ray and blood work!

Thank Heaven it is only once a year, or I may as well pitch a tent and just hang out until the next visit. Now, I need to remember to schedule my mammogram!

sherri s. said...

So brave of you to snap pix while in there...I thought about it last time I was in--and I'm in a LOT, being a cancer patient--but I was so afraid someone would walk in on me taking a close-up of the tongue oncologist routinely keeps me waiting for 45 minutes to an hour. Argh!


She durn sure had a fiderlit under her and got her heinie in gear.

sherri s. said...

HA! I just realized that I wrote "tongue dispensers" instead of "tongue depressors." A tongue vending machine!

word: duh!

sherri s. said...

Wow, three comments on the same post--folks MIGHT think I'm a wee bit nutty! Ha!

I had breast cancer--coming up on my five-year anniversary in October, yay! Cancer sucks!

word: awlike

"Awlike youuuuuu, I really really do!"

mel said...

Sherri - I love your words and definitions!

The worst part of the peeing is getting it on my hand - ewww, ewww, ewww.

I like my doc though. And he likes me because I entertain him. If I have a problem, I always develop a diagnosis/theory and share it with him just in case he needs some help. I would like him to get a whiteboard as on House.

He did one test once that I really liked. When I was losing my hearing I was kind of blue and I would go to him (GP) periodically just to talk. After a long time, at the end of one my visits he said he thought I was going to be OK and deal well with it all. When I asked him how he knew that, he said, "You're laughing again". I like that man.

Roller shoes said...

oh,it is so going on
I think our body does well