Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Few Whack Jobs (for Mel)

It's that time again!  Let's take a trip back in time and see how our ancestors celebrated Christmas.  Off we go to the land of vintage Christmas cards, and all the excitement that accompanies that journey!   I must say, there's a bit of a creepy factor in this crop of cards!!

Personally, this one reminds me a bit of Wheel of Fortune.  "I'll buy a Virgin Mary for $500 Pat." 
And, I wonder which one of those saintly women is "Bankrupt?"

 Let's see, Uncle Sam and Santa.  That's just not a duo I see hanging together.  When I see Uncle Sam I think taxes and the military.  I don't want him anywhere near my Santa Claus and Christmas presents.  Back off you big tall bearded man!!  (Sam, not Santa!)

 "Okay Everybody!  Get together, get together now.  Scoot together!  Smile!! Watch out for the gigantic holly!  Johnny, look at Scooter.  He's taking the picture for us.  Johnny!  Johnny!!  LOOK AT SCOOTER!!  Oh, for God's sake Scooter.  Take the damn picture!"

 Look at the cute little girl and her kitty cat.  Look at the cute little girl's face.  Me thinks the cute little girl has hit the spiked eggnog and fell over. Kitty Cat is bored with the drunk little girl.  Kitty Cat is thinking about clawing out Little Girl's eyeballs.

 Oh, this just warms the cockles of my heart.  Ronnie Reagan with a cig in his mouth wishing us all a merry Christmas.  So nice to know this man led our country for eight years.

 This is  like Rudolph gone BAD.  The bear looking thing is the Abominable, and his "victim" is Yukon 
Cornelius.  Now honestly, would you send this to your friends and loved ones?  Merry Christmas!  Here's a prelude to a mauling!

 And finally, there's this.  I don't even know where to start.  Red Horns?  The broom looking thing?  That really ugly kid?  I see the Exorcist.

Here's hoping none of our Christmases are this frightening! 


mel said...

Ju, I started laughing when I read the post heading and I haven't stopped yet....you are so funny! I love that drunken little girl....oh, so funny!!!!

I wish we had a holiday every week just so I could read your card posts!

sherri s. said...

Oh please make a book like this...all of your oh-so-hilarious captions! WHY were they often so dang creepy?!

word: citer

I like some warm citer by the fireside after a hard day out chopping wood. (Ha! So not true--I live in Southern California and I prefer beer!)