Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Right now, we have 14 rolls of toilet paper in our house.  EMERGENCY!  EMERGENCY!!

I am always afraid of running out of the stuff.  I don't care how much we have on hand, it's never enough.  I would prefer to buy it every time I went to the store, but to be honest, we don't have much storage room in our bathrooms.  When I have the house of my dreams, I will be sure to designate a closet as the Toilet Paper closet.  Ahhhh.  What can I say.  I'm a dreamer.

Did you ever put much thought into this roll of squares?  I have.  I think about it A LOT.  And, where else to share my TP thoughts?  BLOGGERVILLE.

*  One ply should be made illegal.

*  Why is it so hard to start a roll of TP?  They must use industrial strength glue to fasten that bit of TP to itself.  I waste half the roll getting it going.  Heyyyyyyyyyy.  That's why they do it!!  (NOTE:  Northern has started making a kind of "pull tab" on their rolls to facilitate the unrolling.  Heaven!)

*  Roll OVER, not under.  (Sorry Sandie.  But, I still love ya!)  I've been known to switch rolls in my time; but only in my own house.

*  How about the person that leaves you with just a couple squares?  WHO uses just two squares?  Please use it all and replace the roll.  I think it's better to err on the side of using too much than too little.  If you know what I mean.

*  TP Lint?  How annoying is that?  It goes everywhere in the bathroom. 

*  I can't blow my nose on TP, it has to be Kleenex.  I think it goes along with the theory that I don't like to drink water from the bathroom tap. 

*  How annoying is the big roll in public restrooms?  They rip after one square, and you have to stick your hand up inside that monstrosity to even get ahold of the stuff.

*  How comical is the toilet paper stuck to the shoe?  giggle giggle

*  Me and Taylor are "wrappers."  We wrap A LOT of TP around our hands before the wipe.  This often leads to use of the plunger...

AND, I'm sure you're all been wondering:

*  My personal preference:  Northern Ultra Soft.  3 Ply and that starter thing.  Making my life comfy and easy.

Some of your thoughts on the white roll of joy???  What is your emergency level?  Your favorite brand?  Any good stories??  Share with me!!


SPT said...

This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I too have very specific rules about TP, and all paper products as a matter of fact..

I am a charmin ultra girl, myself. Although I would be winning to try northern. Anyone who puts that much thought into it holds a lot of credibility in my book.

I am a wadder. I do not wrap it around my hand. My husband is a folder.

Also, you did not mention this, but I do not look. I can tell if I got a clean wipe or not.

I too hate the glue that starts the roll and also the shred that happens when you get close to the end. I am generally very green, but I waste a lot of paper at the beginning and end of the roll.

The worst tp, other than the industrial stuff at malls or public restrooms, is scott. Even just seeing it grosses me out. Who would ever buy it? I don't understand.

I also don't understand the over the top thing. How do you find the beginning in the middle of the night? I like when it hangs down below so I can always find it.

Also, colored toilet paper creeps me out. Toilet paper, like paper towels, napkins and tissues, should be solid white.

Speaking of - my other paper brands are bounty paper towels, vanity fair napkins, and kleenex with lotion tissues. ALL WHITE. Never any cutesy designs.

My family and husband all think I am OCD and slightly insane for being so anal (no pun intended) about my paper products. See Ju, we are soul sisters.

JuJu said...

Oh Sandie, I knew we were soul sisters.

My paper products:
Bounty! Kleenex, with no lotion and Vanity Fair napkins. (my mom loved those!)
Kleenex and TP MUST be white.
Sometimes I like the fun patterns on the Bounty, usually when it's puppy dogs or cats.

As far as over/under: I have talent. I can make that roll spin, even in the dark of night.

SPT said...

I cannot believe every one of your readers is not chiming in on this with passion, like I did. What in the world?

mel said...

You too are a hoot!

Sorry to say I do not think so much about TP.

I do however use a lot. I fact, I am a wrapper and wrap some as soon as I sit down. I am not certain why - maybe prepared for some sort of unforeseen emergency.

While it is gross, one must look to ensure utter and complete cleanliness. I mean, if you don't look, how do you really know??

JuJu said...

I, too, wrap upon sitting. Our mothers must have taught us the same way?

SPT said...

hmmmmm..... maybe i have been leaving traces the past 40 years and not known it. next time i will look.

Cath said...

Sorry so late on the discussion folks.

I am a wrapper. My husband would like to designate how many sheets one may use. Infact, early on, he tried to tell me I was only allowed a certain number of sheets. I can't remember how many now but it was under 10.

I hate to admit it but we use Scott. I know I know, but for most of our life we have had a septic system and Scott is the only one that doesn't back up the septic system. I'd rather use Scott than deal with a backed up septic system. Shit floating in your backyard is not fun. I am so used to it now that it doesn't matter. We switched from Scott to Charmin (my brand of choice growing up) and in 1 day we clogged the toilets!

So, there you have it. My dark secret. Will you be able to continue to say you like me?

SPT said...

So the yaya count is 3 wrappers to 1 wadder.

Cath, I don't know. I might have to get a whole new septic system if we couldn't use charmin. Aaron new two things about me before we got married - 1) we have to live in NYC at some point during our marriage and 2) i get lots of speeding tickets. He had to agree to do/understand both (and never get mad about the tickets). I should also have told him that if it's charmin or a bad septic system, we will have to get a new septic! I still love you though, cath.

I'm going to try wrapping later. Gonna be strange.

JuJu said...

To be fair, I think I'm a bit of a wrapper-wadder.

And Cath, you get a big ol' asterisk next to your name because of the septic tank. I feel for you.

This reminds me that I have a septic tank story. heh heh heh.

sherri s. said...

Wow, ladies...I honestly had to sit--and not on the toilet!--and think about all of this. We use Angel husband is very picky--not TOO soft (he grew up in Europe...scratchy!). I fold but don't wrap or wad. I agree, looking is necessary. AND, girlfriends: we have a Toto, the Japanese toilet with the water sprayer (for, um, front and back). It's marvelous! Changes the whole TP equation! Also: I detest the Charmin bears with their linty butts!

word: devel

He can be a sweet little boy, but sometimes he's a right devel!

mel said...

Where does one get a Toto? It sounds like a bidet built into the toilet. Leave it to the Japanese to be so clean. They really have something there with the "take your shoes off before you come in" thing too.

I wrap but then dislodge it from my hand to wad. So, really I am a combo.

Next question: When using a public toilet do you squat, put paper down, or both? And how do you decide when to do what?

Cath said...

Ok, when using a public toilet I put paper down unless I am in a stall in which the seat is wet from the last person standing. If that's the case and I can't switch stalls then I squat.

mel said...

I squat in all public toilets except at work, where I put down paper.

Carrie said...

I have a little story about TP. As a child, my sisters and I took turns visiting our Aunt for 2 weeks every summer. We all remember her TP rule - use only 4 squares for #1 and you may use an additional 4 squares if you do a #2. We thought she counted the squares and our trips to the bathroom because she always knew if we used too much. It always annoyed us and we have always laughed about it. Now that I am an adult, I wonder if the rule was to prevent plugging the toilet (vice conserving TP) and maybe it did get plugged from time to time and that's how she knew we used over our limit.

(Love your blog)